Tuesday 8 December 2009

Grazia, Antibiotics and The Thing about Friends Who Don't Have Children

I read in Grazia magazine this week that there are ever increasing numbers of 30 and 40 something women turning to the internet and blogging to poor out their deepest, darkest thoughts. I have become a statistic! At least I keep good company!

It mentions that the reason most women do this is to seek "validation" with the comfort of anonymity. It got me thinking as to why I am really sitting here wittering away rather than ploughing through that ironing pile beckoning me from the kitchen. Well, firstly, ironing is not the most exciting nor enticing of activities and secondly, I think for me writing down my thoughts helps clear my head with all that is wafting around in it. With so little adult company around, I don't get to "chat" much (I feared I was displaying "lonely old person" tendencies when last week I tried to engage in a full blown conversation with the lovely man at Budgens). I genuinely don't mind if no-one reads this blog (but it is lovely to receive a comment now and then, so there must be something in the validation thing too?!).

J is now on antibiotics (for the first time in her life - I have never been an anti-antibiotics campaigner, but just felt I would avoid them for as long as I could, and given that J is a big-strong-looks-four-but-is-almost-three girl, I have not had to use them as her little body has been thus far equipped to fend off various nasties that have co-habited with it). Not this time. She coughed so hard yesterday that she was sick, has not eaten for four days and is really struggling. And so to the doctor, who agreed she "needed some help". He was lovely as he totally unphased listened to Libia's (J's doll) chest with his stethoscope too. I hope she is back to normal soon as she finishes school today and it is a long time till Daddy is off work for Christmas!

Something that has been under my skin for some time now is how difficult it is to maintain the same relationships with friends who don't have children. I find it frustrating as they can never (by no fault of their own) "get it" and find it startling when they dole out child-rearing/mommy coping advice, albeit very well-intentioned. I have a number of friends who do not have children and while I panic about what to talk to them about and try my best not to mention my children (for fear of being a bore), I really have little else going on. I read the newspaper everyday and watch the news and tv to try to remain current, but being at home all day every day with the tinies does not make for interesting table talk when you do go back into the real world. I find this really hard.

God - I've gotta get a life....

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